


running along the seams

by windthorne



Category: Bleach
Genre: 30 Kisses Challenge, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, Heavy Angst, Kissing, just all the fucking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7826479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windthorne/pseuds/windthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the 30 times ichigo and rukia almost, did, and didn't kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	running along the seams

**Author's Note:**

> the alternative title to this fic is called "WELCOME TO THE LAND OF SALT."
> 
> prompts are from the [30 kisses set list,](http://30kisses.livejournal.com/262235.html) with the omnicron/weather theme.
> 
> i said i wouldn't write anymore bc of college, but the bleach ending affected me so much that i just had to do this. this is how i'm coping.
> 
> listen to shiver by lucy rose for EXTRA FEELS. enjoy~

**1\. melting**

“Goodbye, Ichigo.”

In that moment, there are so many things he wants to say, so many things he wants to yell and scream at her before she can leave, one last time. _Don’t go again,_ he wants to tell her. _Don’t do this._

But he’s begged enough, and she’s fought hard. They’ve kept this up for as long as they’ve known each other, and it’s all coming to an end.

Before she can walk away, he pulls her in for one more kiss. One last kiss. And he knows this is the last one, because even when all the intensity is still there, there’s also a sadness that lingers. An air that dwells between them, settling like a brick wall that can’t be moved. It’s a quiet, soft, and irreplaceable kiss.

And then it’s over. They pull away from each other, looking everywhere but up. She runs away, like she always does, and he watches (one last time).

“Goodbye, Rukia.” He knows she heard him.

* * *

  **2\. broken glass**

In the midst of the post-battle, they find themselves in his room again, tearing at each other’s clothes like they had been waiting for this moment for so long. And they really had; since the beginning of Ywach’s reign, there was no chance to breathe or even think. It was just constant fighting and war, with the need to win.

And now, this moment is theirs.

He sets her down on his desk and pulls her closer just as she tugs his shirt over his head and throws it haphazardly away. One of them accidentally knocks over the lamp, and it falls to the ground, shrouding them in darkness. Neither of them even notice.

“Slow down, idiot." She laughs into his shoulder.

“Can’t do that,” he smirks, pressing a kiss to her cheek, “Not with you.”

* * *

  **3\. cold sun**

“Are you cold, Kurosaki-kun?”

Ichigo looks up at Inoue, who’s currently rubbing her hands together in an attempt to warm herself. The past winter has been grueling, and he can’t say he’s enjoyed it.

“Huh? No, not really,” he answers, dusting his pants and standing up. Inoue simply nods in understanding and makes her way over to him.

They stroll together in silence, making their way to the community college in a leisurely pace. He doesn’t consider it uncomfortable anymore, not like it used to be. Instead, it feels rather therapeutic. Like how his life was always supposed to be.

“Kurosaki-kun, I think this is the coldest day Karakura has had.” Inoue says, looking at the sky and snow in wonder.

He doesn’t really like snow.

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” he replies, stuffing his hands in his pockets (ignoring how freezing he is).

“Well at least we do get all of this.” She gathers a bundle of snow in her hands and blows it his way, almost like a kiss thrown at him. The snow doesn’t reach him, but it gets his frown to soften just a little. Inoue giggles all along, and Ichigo refuses to notice the fact that his chest is burning, and his mind is wandering.

He won’t think of her. He won’t.

* * *

  **4\. “take it off”**

Rukia hums as she makes her way inside the house, slipping off her shoes. Ichigo steps in right behind her, grumbling quietly and running his hands through his ruined hair repeatedly.

“That amusement park was a lot of fun!” She’s all energy and giddiness, happily enticing him in her thoughts. “We need to go there again soon!”

He’s all passive yet content, rolling his eyes while hiding a smirk. “Yeah, yeah, I guess. Whatever you want, your highness.”

She slaps him, crossing her arms. “I’m no royalty, you fool.” She takes off her jacket slowly, throwing it at him. He catches it easily.

“That’s what they all say.” He follows her as they make their way into the kitchen, setting her jacket on the couch as they go.

“If you want to see me as a queen, then that’s fine by me.” She turns around and waggles her eyebrows at him mockingly, and his eye twitches slightly.

She immediately zooms in on the fridge, trying to find something to quench their empty stomachs, and he stares at her as she contemplates the human food she’s still not really used to.

He eventually moves closer to her and drops a kiss on her shoulder. “You’d be a terrible queen.” he mumbles.

She just smiles. “I can’t argue with you on that.”

* * *

  **5\. eyelashes**

There’s a glimmer of her reiatsu, so far away and distant—but it’s still there. Weak, wavering, and so unlike her. That’s when he knows—she’s dying.

His sword, previously pointed at Ulquiorra, now sweeps the air and moves downward, away from his opponent. He turns around and walks away, the aura of defeat threatening to devour him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The Fourth Espada asks.

“To save Rukia.” He has no hesitation in his steps, putting more distance between the Arrancar and less between her.

_So stubborn. Is it really alright for you to leave without killing me?_

_I have no reason to fight you._

The taunting continues, and eventually Ulquiorra reveals his intentions behind Inoue, and everything just flies out of his head. His mind is swirling, and he realizes he has to fight him in the end. He has to do this, for himself, for everyone he’s trying to protect.

But all he can think is he has to save her.

He focuses in on her reiatsu like he’s clinging onto her, and though it’s still small and miniscule, he never lets go of her energy. He needs to end this. Quickly. Now.

He turns back around and swings Zangetsu.

* * *

  **6\. shivering**

He'd always thought she looked the most beautiful in battle, with her blood-crusted hair and her wild eyes and her sword high in the air. But of course, he’d never admit that to anyone, even in those moments when she killed hollows with such precision and leaped into the air like she was born to fight.

(No, he’d never admit how much he loved her.)

He'd never have thought that he could see her be even more beautiful anywhere else…until now.

After their first few attempts to ice skate together, she'd eventually learned the whole concept perfectly—she had an ice-type zanpakuto, after all.

And now that damn little midget was showing off, when literally fifteen minutes ago she had no idea how to put on the boots.

There she was, spinning and skating around the rink like a professional, and even other people began to notice. Even Keigo had to point it out— _“Kuchiki-san!_ When did you learn to ice skate so well~?”

Later, he decided to just watch her. The way she moved was so graceful, like a dancer finding her place. He tried to make it look like he wasn’t gazing at her directly, but she still managed to catch him staring like an idiot.

She simply met his gaze and blew him a kiss.

His soft expression immediately bounced into a glare, but he still caught it nonetheless, with a shiver rolling down his spine.

* * *

  **7\. frozen tears**

One night, the dreams got to be too much, and Ichigo found himself shaking her fiercely in her sleep. “Rukia, wake up!”

Her eyes were shut tightly, almost painfully. Sweat beaded at her forehead, yet her body was ice cold to the touch. The contradiction had been so grand to the point where her temperature had woken him up. She continued to thrash in his arms, mumbling incoherent words, while her body grew colder.

“Rukia!” He yelled, still shaking her.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of her name, and she let out a deep breath.

“Kaien,” she whispered as she stared up at him, tearing up.

“No, not Kaien,” he rubbed her shoulders softly. “Ichigo.”

She blinked and her eyes focused fully, realizing that he was not, in fact, her late mentor.

“Ichigo.” She brought a hand to his cheek, and her cold touch felt more like a burn. But he still welcomed it anyway, knowing that this touch was hers, and only hers.

“It’s okay,” he said, bringing her upward to cradle her. She didn’t object, instead embracing the heat he brought. They pressed against each other, their clashing temperatures like a wake up call to the both of them. “It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head there, trying to calm down her quiet sobbing. “I know, I know—"

He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. “It’s okay,” he repeated over and over, waiting until she finally calmed down. For the rest of the night, they held onto each other, hoping the heat would eventually bring her back home from the coldest memories of her past.

* * *

  **8\. on a day like this**

Nothing feels different about today, even though he shouldn’t be feeling like that at all. Even when it’s his wedding day, he still feels… the same.

The only thing he really thinks is different about today is the fact that there’s an actual ring on his left ring finger now. He'd never thought that this would happen in his life, after all.

He plays with the ring out of habit, thumbing it casually as he looks out at the audience.

Almost everybody he knows is here today. The building is mostly filled with their friends, and his family, since hers obviously couldn’t make it today. His idiot of a father is still weeping over the fact that he was able to find a wife after all, and his sisters are smiling at him proudly. Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro all give him a thumbs up as he stands at the altar, and he gives them a little chuckle.

Again, almost everybody is here today.

They purposely didn’t invite any of the Gotei 13, since they had just wanted it to be for themselves and for their family. (And not because he was trying to avoid certain people.)

Ishida couldn’t make it, and Ichigo didn’t question his friend’s intentions. There’s still something between them, a certain déjà vu that neither of them wants to acknowledge.

His thoughts are soon interrupted as the door opens, and his eyes fall on the bride standing at the entrance.

Orihime is beautiful. He’ll admit it now since today is supposed to be different. She really is, and as she walks down the aisle towards him with tears running down her cheeks, he realizes that she could really be good for him.

(She cares for him, she’s willing to do anything for him, she’s _human_ —)

At the end of the ceremony, everyone is crying as the bride and groom finally kiss—everyone except him. And Chad, of course.

* * *

  **9\. fog**

She presses her forehead against his, breathing heavily. “You’re such an idiot, I swear.”

“Har har,” he says weakly, all while coughing up blood. Rukia holds him up and simultaneously heals him with her kido powers.

“You really have to stop letting him control you like this,” her hand runs down his chest, over the scar she had just healed. “Sometimes he just goes overboard.”

“It was just trying to... protect you,” he responds weakly, looking away from her.

“I can do that by myself just fine!” She yells, rising on her toes. “I don’t need you or your hollow to do that for me! Why do I always have to tell you this?”

“Because... I never listen to you.” He grunts as she presses her hand a little too hard on his chest.

She huffs. “What happens if he takes over completely because of ‘protecting me?’ This can’t keep happening, Ichigo!”

Her breath catches as he grabs her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. He pulls her closer and presses his lips against hers, fast and intense all at once.

He pulls away and smirks, that _stupid_ smirk he always does when she yells at him. “Rukia, even if he takes over... I’ll still... come back.” He tightens his hold on her hand.

“I will _always_ … find my way back to you.”

* * *

  **10\. hat**

Urahara gives him a _look,_ and in that instant, Ichigo just wants to die.

“Were you thinking about Kuchiki-san just now?” He snickers. “You had such a _longing_ expression on your face.”

“Sh-shut up!” He hides his face in his hands, wondering how the hell this stupid girl made him this way. Of course Urahara had to catch him in such a state of weakness, looking like a total fool.

“You don’t have to hide from me, Kurosaki-san.” He sits in front of Ichigo, flapping his fan casually. “I know why you want to save her so badly.”

He pointedly looks away from the man with the hat, refusing to acknowledge his words.

“Romance is always so exciting when it comes to young heroes!” Urahara exclaims.

Ichigo’s eyes twitches. “It’s—it’s not like that!”

“If you say so.” Urahara winks at him, and he blushes profusely. “As long as that helps you rescue Kuchiki-san in the end.”

The image of her appears in his mind then and there, and he can’t help but yearn every time he sees her leave in his memory. Again and again.

The memory of her lips also flit through his head, and he has to shake his head to rid his thoughts of anything but saving her.

 _That’s right,_ he thinks. _I have to do this._

_I will save you, Rukia._

* * *

  **11\. visible breath**

Every time they get together like this, they find more reasons to stay than to go.

He pushes her against the wall, and she grits her teeth as he invades her space.

Neither of them can wait anymore, both of them still in soul form and swords still unsheathed. He sticks Zangetsu into the ground beside him as she haphazardly clings onto Sode no Shirayuki. They quickly undo each other’s robes and it’s just too much when they’re finally skin-to-skin. Rukia lets out a moan, wrapping her arms around his neck with her sword settled against the nape. With her grip still intact, she lets out a deep breath, and the coolness hits his body and makes his blood run straight down south.

“Ichigo, please.” She pleads, and he sees her breath fan out in the air, like she’s been smoking.

As long as she holds her sword, her powers stay as well, and he wants to melt right into her arms, because how can she make him feel so hot when it’s so damn _cold?_

“Fuck.” He kisses her, so desperate and so full of life. She responds just as powerfully, pouring out her soul onto the tips of his lips.

Soon enough, their robes are thrown away, and her sword is dropped, and all the ice is replaced by a scorching heat, threatening to consume them both.

They could stay here forever, in each other’s arms. If only they could.

* * *

  **12\. windy**

“When will I see you again?”

Those are always the wrong words to say whenever this happens, but he still chooses to ask anyway. He just has to.

She shifts her feet from side to side, looking down at her feet. “You know I don’t know the answer to that.”

He sighs. “It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

The roughest part of their—insert whatever it is they have here—is that there’s always a limit for them. She’s always leaving him for long periods of time, and he’s always busy when it comes to schoolwork and jobs and just human life in general. That, and whenever they are together, hollows love to come say hi.

Where is the time for either of them?

The wind blows cooler than usual, playing with her hair and making him feel desolate. “I’ll come back soon,” she says, rising on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “It never takes too long.”

They never say bye to each other, because it makes their separation seem more real than they need it to be. She simply gazes at him, silently memorizing his features before turning around to leave.

The senkaimon closes right after she enters it, and he thinks he’ll never get used to her leaving that way.

* * *

  **13\. standing**

He never stays mad at her whenever it’s snowing outside and she manages to pin his face with a snowball. He really hates her for not being able to stay mad at her.

“Ha! I got you, little buffoon!” She snarls as she runs away to grab another snowball, to probably throw at his face again.

“Who are you calling little?” Behind her back, he quietly makes one himself, hiding it just before she sees.

Which he really shouldn’t have done, because she still manages to catch him in the act and pummel him into the ground with multiple snowballs. Really. How can she even do that?

“Ichigo Kurosaki, the hero of Soul Society, has been defeated by only a few snowballs.” A wide smirk crosses her face, and she puts a foot on his butt just to prove her point.

Meanwhile, he pulls his face out of the snow, glaring. “Those weren’t just a few! You threw like twenty of them!”

“Just admit your loss, Kurosaki.” Her wild grin is back, and he would have been pinned down by her eyes if it wasn’t for the fact that she was practically standing on top of him.

“Fine,” He grunts, “Rukia Kuchiki of the Kuchiki clan. You have defeated me.”

She steps off of him in approval and he rolls over to face the sky, groaning. “You didn’t even fight me, weakling.”

Suddenly, he grabs her ankle and pulls, making her fall on top of him with a shriek. Her body weight makes him sink into the snow even more, but he doesn’t care.

“You would just keep hitting me until I surrendered.” He smiled.

“I’m not that cruel!” Her hand starts to curl into the snow, ready to throw one more at him. He grins and lifts his head up, kissing her before she can attack.

She still manages to plant a snowball straight in his mouth as he pulls away.

* * *

  **14\. november**

He can’t stay at festivals for too long anymore, especially when there are fireworks at the very end. It makes him think of a battle in a fake town, with a man who wanted to be a god. It makes him think of death and blood and endings he doesn’t want to remember. Plus, the large number of people pushed together just makes him feel largely uncomfortable in general. And paranoid.

But he really doesn’t want to ruin the fun for his friends and family, so he drifts away slowly as they all get lost in the crowd. He sticks to the outside, far from the center of attention.

He watches from a distance the way his father and sisters roam around the festival with curious and excited expressions. He also stares at Rukia, who engrosses herself in the lights and people around her. Renji has taken it to be her ‘bodyguard’ since Ichigo can’t push himself to do it in events like these, and she practically drags the poor guy around the entire time.

Sometimes she’ll catch his gaze and pucker her lips at him, like she’s either sending a kiss his way or pouting at him like a baby. He rolls his eyes.

Over time, his eyes move from Rukia to Renji instead. He notes the way he looks at her, like he would do anything for her—and everybody knew that much was true. Renji cared about her a lot. And Ichigo knew, of course, that the bond they had was important.

He wonders, to himself and no one else, if he looks at Rukia the way Renji does.

* * *

  **15\. sandcastles**

They meet somewhere far from Karakura, since everything there is too familiar for the both of them. The ocean waves beat down on his feet, and he lets the sand consume him slowly, sinking him further into the ground.

He doesn’t want to look at her. He can’t look at her, because he’ll regret it.

It’s been years. Which probably feels very short to her. To him, though—it’s been a very long time.

“What are you doing here, Rukia?” He sounds bitter. Maybe he is.

She plants her feet in the sand next to him. He’s sure that she’s looking up at him, but he doesn’t have the heart to meet her halfway.

“I’m just investigating a mysterious hollow case here. A quick run before I go back.”

Even her air feels familiar. It takes everything in him not to just sneak a glance.

He takes a deep breath. “This isn’t Karakura. You have no reason to be here.”

“Neither do you.” Her words are sharp, jabbing at him.

“Is that why you’re here?” He finally turns to her, and her piercing violet eyes tug at him. He ignores it as best as he can and pushes forward. “Are you still spying on me, after all this damn time?”

“I have never,” she pokes a finger into his chest, “spied on you. You can live your life the way you want, I don’t care!”

“Then why are you even here!” His voice rises.

“I told you! I’m doing a quick run—"

“Bullshit. Why are you here,” he points at the ground, “here, right next to me. When you have no reason to be.”

She pulls back, stunned and caught off guard. His glare doesn’t lessen one bit. She gives him no answer, and just stares at him like he’s grown a third ear.

He wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her so badly, and that scares him more than the way neither of them move.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, facing each other with an unspoken pain. He realizes that they mirror each other’s moves suddenly, moving at the same time. Nothing makes sense, as his palm moves up just as hers does, like a pair of hands meeting to pray.

One of them says it, he’s not really sure who. “I’m still in love with you.”

He wakes up soon after, and stares at the ceiling for a long time.

* * *

  **16\. ironic**

They stand before each other, the battles long over and finished.

He slides the door open and sees her next to Renji, all full of energy as always.

“Yo.” He gives her a smile.

“Hey.” She gives one back, warm and soft.

Ten years have gone by. This is a smile for just them.

* * *

  **17\. “hold me”**

She cradles his head in her arms, shifting so that her body can accommodate him as he lays on the ground unconscious. The rain continues to pour down with no mercy, but she doesn’t care. She simply keeps her eyes on his face, so calm and peaceful.

Grand Fisher may have gotten away, but she does the honors for Ichigo, because he deserves this one bit for himself and for his family.

“You tried your hardest, Ichigo,” she whispers, wiping blood from his face, “You still won.”

She presses a soft kiss on his forehead. “Thank you… for not dying.”

* * *

  **18\. “if it could be you…”**

“…what would you do?” he asks Kurosaki one day.

He doesn’t answer immediately. It takes him awhile to honestly think up a response, and Ishida can tell that he’s not proud of it.

Ever since his comrade had seen Rukia giving Renji a kiss during his short visit to Soul Society, he’s been on edge more than usual. He’s snappy, aggravating, and quiet all at once. And it’s quite a pain.

“Kurosaki?”

After a long silence, he finally speaks. “I wouldn’t do anything. Even if I had tried, the same thing would still happen.”

Ishida narrows his eyes. “I don’t think you understand what one more chance means.”

“I know what it means! But it doesn’t matter. I could get a thousand chances, and I would still lose her every time. Besides,” he grunts, “she’s the one that left me.”

“She’s the one that _saved_ you.”

He rounds on him, eyes ablaze. “I saved her, too! Many times!” He runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavily. “Why are we even talking about this? This doesn’t even pertain to you or your life!”

Kurosaki turns on his heel and storms away, like he always does when he’s frustrated.

“It does pertain to me,” Ishida says quietly, to nobody. “It always has.”

* * *

  **19\. invisible**

Aizen is defeated.

Just like that, he loses his powers. Just like that, she disappears.

Just like that, he feels something soft along his right cheek.

It’s the last time he feels her. Just like that.

* * *

  **20\. warmth**

As much as she loves the winter, she has to admit that there’s just something so exciting about being able to wear her spaghetti-strap dresses and her strappy sandals. She’s also happy to eat those wonderful popsicles Ichigo introduced to her, especially the ones shaped like Chappy.

She jumps out of the closet with a new bounce of energy, ready to jump the orange-haired brat just like his father always does. “Ichigo, time to _get up_ —"

She immediately stops in her advance, eyeing the boy in the bed. His position is so convoluted and ugly-looking, but his face—it looks so peaceful. There’s no frown marring his features at all, and it surprises her greatly. His expression is so warm and soft, something she’s never seen before.

For some reason, it makes her think of kissing him.

And that—that’s what really throws her off.

She pushes the vile thoughts out of her mind, shaking her head. What was she doing again?

Ah, right. Waking up the idiot. Right. That’s what she’s doing.

 _Not_ ogling the idiot. Definitely not that.

* * *

  **21\. crazy**

He’s going insane. He’s delirious. He hates feeling like this, for crying out loud.

She makes him feel this way. Why does she have this power over him? It pisses him off to no end, and he can’t handle it.

First, she kisses him. Then, she says, “We can’t keep doing this.”

And he’s completely thrown off guard. “What? Why not?” He asks, walking over to her. “What’s the problem?”

“I just—" She sighs. “I've been thinking. A lot. And... I can’t keep coming back here... not when my life is back in Soul Society.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” he says, “I’ll visit you, then.”

“But I’m always busy, and you have your job—"

“Then I’ll make time for you—"

“No, you won’t. It’s over.”

He literally can’t think of a reason for this. Everything was just fine…

“What the hell? Breaking up is a two-way street, just like being together is! Don’t I get a say in this?”

“You’re not going to stop this, so I will. We have to end this, Ichigo. It’s best for both of us.”

“It’s best for both of us? Seriously?”

“You’re alive!” She yells, gripping his shirt. “I’m dead!”

“So were my parents!”

“They were different, and you know that!”

“Rukia, you can’t even give me a good reason to end this.” He releases her grip, grasping her hand.

“I want you…” She looks away. “I want you to live. I don’t want you to wait.”

“Is it so wrong for me to do both?”

“Yes!” She meets his eyes. “Please, Ichigo. It’s _over._ ”

He drops her hand.

* * *

  **22\. faded colors**

“I think we were made for each other,” she whispers into his ear, and he rolls his eyes.

He turns on his side to face her, the bedsheet falling down his body. “What makes you think that?”

She pulls the sheet up to maintain her modesty. “Well, for starters, your hair. My eyes.” She gestures her hands to the said features. “Orange and purple? Opposites?”

“Uh huh. Okay. Go on.”

“Your zanpakuto is all black. Mine is all white.” She raises her brows. “Fire type and ice type?”

“Okay… sounds sketchy at best.”

She rams her head into his chest, before pressing her lips right over his heart. “I don’t think so. Sounds like you were meant for me, fool.”

He pulls her close and chuckles. “Maybe.’’

In all honesty, it sounds like the truth. And at the same time, it sounds like it’s too good to be true.

* * *

**23\. afternoon**

They are years older. Not any wiser, but still older. The bitterness is gone, replaced by a sort of emptiness. They no longer yearn for each other, both having found something new to put their energy into.

Her hair is longer, while his is shorter. Other than that, they're still the same.

The urge to kiss her is suppressed, more so now than ever before. He gives himself credit for that.

But he notices—she smiles freely now. She no longer wears a serious expression, always business-like. She seems… relaxed. And happy.

His heart aches. Just a little. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but it’s still there, like a tiny bruise.

“I don’t want us to be on bad terms anymore,” she sighs. “It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” he responds, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “And I don’t want that, either.”

“Good.” She smiles.

He offers a small one back, before rubbing his head. “How’s Renji?”

“He’s…doing well,” she looks down. “We have a girl. Ichika.”

“Oh,” he holds down his surprise quite well, “Congratulations.”

“What about Inoue-san? How is she?”

“Orihime’s great, as always—” she catches the way he says her first name so casually “—and…we have a son, too. His name is Kazui.”

“That’s wonderful.” She lets out a breath softly. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe… maybe they can meet one day?” She offers. She doesn’t want this to be awkward. She wants this to work. She wants this to be okay.

She wants them to be okay.

Her answer lies in his smile. “Of course.”

* * *

  **24\. blame it on the heat**

“What are you doing here?” She asks just as he storms inside her Soul Society office. She had felt his reiatsu from the very moment he entered the realm.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile,” he says quietly. “I just decided to pay a visit.”

She sighs. “Well, I’m honored that you decided to come all this way to see me, but—look at all this work I have to do.” She pointed at the piles of paper on her desk. “I have to get this done, Ichigo.”

He rolls his eyes. She wants to roll hers, too. She wasn’t even trying with her excuse. She can’t even convince herself to push him away at this point.

“Okay, go ahead and do it, then.” He makes his way over to her, pulling her up from her chair.

“I will.” She wraps her arms around his neck, dwelling in his presence. “Now.”

He leans in, lips grazing her jaw. “Good to know.”

She tilts her head upwards, closing her eyes. “Stop talking.”

“Okay.” He takes that as the cue to proceed onward, moving his lips to finally meet hers.

The pile on her desk remains untouched for the rest of the day.

* * *

  **25\. bench**

He wants to kiss her.

The thought irks him, but he can’t deny it anymore. For some reason, he’s falling for this insufferable girl, and he really can’t stop.

It’s so annoying.

Because that girl has just convinced him to sit outside and look at the stars with her. On a school night. With zero homework done. On a park bench.

“Ichigo, tell me what that one is!” She points upward, at a certain line of lights.

He stares at it for a moment, before glancing back at her. “Cepheus.”

She nods, in awe of the numerous stars that dot the sky. “I never knew that they actually had names.” She says softly. She points again. “What about that one?”

He has no idea what she’s pointing at, so he goes on a whim. “Rukia.”

“What?”

“Rukia. That’s the name of the constellation.”

She scoffs. “Don’t make fun of me!”

“Who said I was? I’m just telling you what you asked.”

She slaps him. “I want the truth, fool!”

“Okay, fine! It’s not called anything.” He huffs. “Not all of the stars are named.”

“Oh…” She looks at the ground now. He notices.

“But I mean… that doesn’t mean we can’t name them ourselves.”

“Really?” She asks, staring at him. She looks hopeful.

He really wants to kiss her.

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

“Okay, then I’ll name that one Ichigo.” She laughs.

He _really_ wants to kiss her.

“Well, I’ll name it Rukia. That’s how it works.”

She smiles at him, then at the sky. “I have my own constellation.”

“Yeah, you do.” He’s not even looking up, anymore. He’s found something much better to look at.

* * *

  **26\. souvenir**

She’s leaving. For good, this time.

Whatever. She can go ahead and do all she wants. It’s not like his opinion ever mattered.

He drops her hand.

“I love you.” It’s not just a statement anymore. It’s vow, an admission, a truth. It’s true and real, and damn her if she doesn’t know it like he does.

She backs away. “Ichigo. Don’t give me that. You can’t give me that.”

“I’ll do whatever I want, and you can’t stop me.” He moves towards her, and she takes a step back. “I’m not going to give up.”

“Stop it! Just stop!” She punches his arm as hard as she can, but for the first time, it seems like he didn’t even feel it.

“Please… just let me go.” Her words are strangled, and she barely gets them out. But she says it anyway. And then again, with more intensity. “Let me go.”

There are so many things he wants to say. But she beats him to it.

“Goodbye, Ichigo.”

* * *

  **27\. teasing wind**

There are times when he’s sure she’s there with him, even when he can’t see her. Powers be damned, he had always felt her presence no matter where he was. That couldn’t have just disappeared.

Nothing makes sense. Nothing has ever made sense.

But this air that he feels now—this feels right. This feels like her, and maybe he’s delusional because of the spirits he can’t see, the lives he can’t protect. Maybe he’s just going crazy.

“I miss you.” He says out loud. He hopes she heard it.

The wind feels like a kiss.

* * *

  **28\. not yet in bloom**

Tatsuki is as observant as ever, and Ichigo wants to fight her.

“You’re totally in love with her.”

He spits out his drink. “Hell _no_ I’m not.”

She snickers. “I didn’t even say who it was! Wow, you’re too easy.”

He wants to sink into the ground and never come out. He also wants to rip that smirk off her face. “I didn’t admit to anything.”

“Whatever. You’re a freaking open book. It’s as obvious as day what you feel for her.” She leans in. “I don’t even have to say her name for you to get all red and uncomfortable.”

He hates Tatsuki right now. Maybe he IS red and uncomfortable. “What’s your deal?”

“I just don’t want you to self-implode in your broodiness.” She flicks him on the forehead. “Just grab her and kiss her for crying out loud. The tension between you two is insane.”

He doesn’t trust his words right now, so he answers with the scariest glare he’s ever given anyone. Of course, that doesn’t affect her one bit.

“Wow. You’re not even orange now. You’re a tomato.”

“I hate you.”

* * *

  **29\. a perfect day**

He dreams of a young boy that looks like him and a loving wife that looks like Inoue. It makes him uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. He’s not sure what’s going on, and he wants to get out.

But he can’t. He’s ingrained into this experience—he’s the boy’s father, and he’s the wife’s husband. Everything feels right but at the same time he doesn’t.

When he finally wakes up from the unusual dream, the first thing he sees is violet eyes, looking up at him. “Wake up, sleepyhead.” She whispers softly, pressing her lips against his.

He makes a sound in the back of his throat and pulls her closer, taking in her smell and her body.

In the back of his mind, he wonders where Rukia was in that dream.

* * *

  **30\. “good morning…”**

The battle is finally over in Soul Society, and Ichigo can breathe again.

Everyone is safe from Aizen, for the time being. Rukia is safe. And that was what he wanted, more than anything. At the end of the day, he had saved her, just as she did him.

There are lots of things he wants to do on his last morning in heaven, but most of them are things he’ll regret. Except for one.

Even though Rukia had already told him her decision to stay and her goodbyes, he still found himself making his way to her throughout the chaos of the Gotei 13.

Tracking her reiatsu, he eventually finds her sitting against a tree, far away from the rest of the society.

“Are you trying to hide from everybody or what?” He asks, and she immediately jumps in surprise.

“Ichigo! How did you find me?” She stands up, glaring at him. "Are you stalking me?”

“What? No! I was trying to find you!”

She crosses her arms. “What for? I already said bye and told you my plans. What more do you need?”

He gives her a look. “Do you want me to leave that badly?”

“No!” Suddenly, she pauses, and then blushes. Why is she blushing? “Not that... not that I want you to stay here!”

“...Well.” Now _he’s_ blushing. "It's... it's not like I want to stay, either!"

"Then why are you here, idiot!"

“I... I have to do something real quick. It’ll be fast, I promise. And then I'll finally go!”

“Fine! Just do it already!” She yells, her face turning pink.

“Fine!” He grabs her waist and pulls her close, then promptly mashes his lips against hers. It’s really, _really_ weird and awkward at first, but then it’s suddenly not, and then it’s suddenly just… _right._

This is the first kiss, the first of many, many they’ve yet to encounter.

He thinks these are the lips he’ll know for the rest of his life, the ones he'll never forget.

(He doesn’t.)

**Author's Note:**

> as i was writing this, i realized that there was no way you could convince me that I & R never had anything between them. kubo can fight me on this. there’s no way all of it was just 'platonic.' seriously. can i keep up with the speed of the world without you in it? are you kidding me? i'm so salty, y'all. i really am.
> 
> let me know what you think!


End file.
